Contestant #54248
When we first see Tyler, he is doing a bit of a goofy dance and we can see that he has a cast on each wrist. The reason for the casts is that Tyler recently fell out of a tree and shattered both his wrists, necessitating some surgery where titanium plates were inserted into his arms.
Shattering his wrists didn't help Tyler's drumming career much, but he claims that he prefers to be the front man and decided to audition for American Idol to help that dream come true.
Despite the injuries to his hands, Tyler came out and sang Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On. The judges loved his look, his demeanor, and his voice, so Tyler was passed through to Hollywood with four Yes votes.
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Contestant #64308
Andrew walked into the audition after complaining all day about the long wait for his audition. Based on the footage, it looked like Andrew was the next-to-last to audition that day. When Simon asked Andrew why he was there, Andrew answered, "I'm here auditioning for American Idol. It should be fairly obvious at this point . . . I also like waiting around."
Andrew announced that he would sing The Animals' House of the Rising Sun and asked the judges if they had heard of it. After singing the song in an uncharismatic fashion, Kara said that he seemed angry and a bit on edge. After complaining again that he had to wait around so long, Kara got upset and told him that people wait for years for a chance like that, and it was annoying that he complained about waiting three hours. She ended her tirade with, "I am now angry at you, who I don't like at all." Andrew insisted on talking it out, and Kara and Victoria Beckham told him how arrogant and obnoxious he came across. Andrew defended himself by saying that he was confident, not arrogant.
Andrew got three No votes from Kara, Victoria, and Randy while Simon said that he would have passed Andrew through to Hollywood if it were up to him. Simon started defending Andrew and said that Andrew was starting to grow on him. The more worked up Kara got about the ordeal, the more Simon defended Andrew. Andrew was baffled as to why the women didn't like him at all.
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Contestant #56287
We first see Mere (pronounced like "Mary") standing outside, soaked from Boston's morning rain shower because she failed to bring an umbrella or even a coat. Luckily, she mimed an umbrella with her hands, which I'm sure kept her nice and dry all morning long . . .
Mere refers to herself as an "otaku" (おたく/オタク), which Wikipedia defines as "a Japanese term used to refer to people with obsessive interests, particularly anime, manga, and video games." Mere even showed off a kimono and some anime-type outfits that she had designed.
Mere sang Janis Joplin's Piece of My Heart with gusto and verve, but unfortunately without much vocal skill. The judges all let her know that singing was not the way to go.
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Contestant #60639
Pre-audition, Derek shares his story: "I started getting into music when I was at the lowest peak in life. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I just would go on long nature walks. I started gradu — gradua — gradutating to music."
Derrick claimed that he sounded like Chris Brown and the Eagles, but when Derrick sang Elton John's Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word it sounded more like an off-key Aaron Neville followed by an off-key falsetto followed by an off-key . . . you get the point. With all the voice changes during his solo, Randy referred to him as "Multi-Derek".
Derek was upset about not getting passed through to Hollywood because he "hit a lot of loud notes."
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Contestant #52322
When we first see Pat, he is enthusiastically dancing. Pat mentions that he's not afraid to be himself, and we find out that his true self really likes to "Holla".
Pat walked into the audition room and tried to get Simon pumped by asking him twice, "Are you ready, Simon?!?" Simon answered with a dismissive shrug before Pat broke into a low-quality version of Britney Spears' Womanizer. During the song, Pat broke out his dance moves again, which even seemed choreographed. This got Kara in the mood, and she started dancing along.
Pat told Simon that he seemed even sassier in person. Simon admitted that he didn't have many friends in school and ate lunch by himself.
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Contestant #52461
Janet likes to get really psyched for auditions and job interviews by repeatedly jumping up and down to get the adrenaline flowing while she shouts compliments at herself in the mirror. Janet's jumping also helped accentuate her bouncing stomach that stuck out below her shirt.
Better yet, Janet was filled with confidence due to the endless compliments from the judges . . . on the American Idol karaoke game.
Janet sang Natasha Bedingfield's Pocketful of Sunshine in a manner that apparently only a computer game could love. While she was explaining that Randy always loved her, she mentioned Paula (who is not judging this season) but pointed to Kara. After sorting out who Kara was (Janet claimed she knew all along), Simon told her, "Unfortunately, Janet, this is real life and this character is going to give you a resounding 'No' after that."
In her post-audition interview, Janet told Ryan that "Paula did think I was good, so that was good." Ryan questioned that and wondered what audition she had been in.
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Enjoy Simon Cowell on season nine of American Idol because he has announced that he will not return to the show after this season ends.
Love him or hate him (or both), Simon Cowell helps make American Idol what it is, particularly for those of us who enjoy watching the bizarre, laughable auditions. Simon is the judge who is not afraid to tell the less-than-serious contestants that they are making fools of themselves, as if they didn't already know.
What will American Idol be like without Simon? Will the funny auditions be allowed free reign as the other judges may not have the nerve to cut the acts off as quickly and harshly as Simon could?
It's hard to say how the fun auditions on Idol will go in a Simon-less environment. Only time will tell, but be sure to enjoy every one of Simon's quips this season while he's still around!
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