Contestant #94976
Holly, better known to you and me as "Guitar Girl", dressed as a guitar for Halloween. Her friends thought the outfit was so cute that Holly figured she would wear the costume to her American Idol audition. The costume was highlighted by some very large guitar sunglasses.
Holly sang Loretta Lynn's You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man. After she finished singing, Simon asked Holly, "Do you understand how — you can keep [the guitar glasses] on — how slightly bizarre this is that you're dressed as a guitar but also look a little bit like an insect singing country and western?"
Mary J Blige's comment was simple: "I don't get it," but Kara said she respected that Holly was ballsy enough to go dressed like that. Holly received 3 Yes votes and will be moving on to Hollywood. I doubt we will see the guitar outfit again, though.
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Contestant #99342
Jesse started out by telling Ryan that he was 26 but had almost died three times during his lifetime:
- As an infant, Jesse almost died of tick fever. His grandpa found him in his crib and declared him "as limp as a dishrag".
- While shooting pistols with his buddy (Jesse's age unknown) he "almost got hit by a speeding bullet".
- Two months before the audition, Jesse almost got run over in his yard — the vehicle came within three feet of him.
Most entertaining were American Idol's self-proclaimed "Cheap Dramatizations" of each of the incidents. This marks one of the rare times that AI has attempted to recreate a story. In the dramatizations, Grandpa was wearing a "World's greatest grandpa" baseball cap, Pistol-shooting Jesse was wearing a "Shotgun 17" jersey and beaver baseball cap, and near-pancake Jesse was wearing some sort of fishing t-shirt.
Jesse decided to audition despite the fact that no one had ever heard him sing apart from his mother.
Simon asked him what he was going to sing and Jesse asked, "Can I try a Garth Brooks song? That's what I want to try, that sounds good, that? I want to try that." Simon told him to go on and Jesse looked like he was preparing to sing . . . and for the next 15 seconds, Jesse was only able to muster a timid "Oh man, I –". Jesse apparently got stuck while trying to sing The River but never could remember the lyrics. No one knew the song, but Randy suggested Brooks' If Tomorrow Never Comes, which Jesse was able to sing.
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Contestant #91616
Christy Marie is a host and producer for an Atlanta TV show 411 "The Show".
Christy Marie sang Pat Benetar's Love is a Battlefield. After singing, Christy Marie told the judges that singing was her passion.
Kara said that they had some 411 for her: "This is not — shouldn't be your career, sweetie" and Simon suggested that this audition was more 911 than 411.
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Contestant #100492
Dewone was pretty confident that he was cut out to be the next American Idol. After all, his great uncle Clyde discovered Gladys Knight & the Pips and he is also related to drummer Motown Bobby.
As Dewone started singing, Simon cut him off to ask him what he was singing. Dewone told Simon that it was an original song and started to sing again, but Simon cut him off again to get the title of the song: Lady, We're Not Together Any More. The song was pretty simple, but you need to know that each line alternates with a high-pitched voice and a deep bass:
Lady, I know you
Baby, I know you
La-La-Lady, I know you
It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over.
Simon told Dewone that it was one of the worst original songs he had ever heard. Dewone became upset about Simon jumping on him about the song title when he was trying to sing. To compensate, Dewone sang a snippet of Rick James' Fire and Desire and claimed that he was just shell-shocked.
Dewone stared singing his original song again but Kara threw her papers in the air and Randy started shouting for security.
On his way down the elevator, Dewone is seen singing, "It's over, it's over, it's over with me." We couldn't agree more.
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Contestant #56254
Norberto walked onto the stage, prompting the positive-minded Victoria Beckham to say, "Wow, what an interesting look." Norberto was wearing a black shirt with sleeves down to the elbows under a red striped t-shirt that said Rock and Roll under a silver vest along with leather gloves
Norberto chose to sing Cascada's Every Time We Touch.
Once he started, he sang in a high, timid voice. At the fast part, he had the judges dancing a bit in their chairs.
Norberto started talking about how he wanted to inspire people like Michael Jackson inspired him, but Simon cut him off by saying, "No you're not, no you're not, no you're not. You're not. That whole thing — even the fact that you were singing like that with a beard made it even more strange. You know what I mean. You know — you sing like a 3-year-old girl, dress like Latoya Jackson, you've got a beard. The whole thing was just too weird."
Needless to say, Norberto did not get passed through to Hollywood.
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Contestant #54995
Joshua came in and sang Rascal Flatts' Bless the Broken Road. He got some compliments, but Simon complained that Josh sounded more like a 14 year old: "No presence, no power, no originality".
Victoria Beckham asked him if he was maybe playing it a little bit safe for the audition and Joshua admitted that he had been told that he needed to be more assertive. Randy jumped right in and gave Joshua some impromptu assertiveness training by instructing him to shout, "Simon, shut up!"
Joshua timidly repeated, "Simon, . . . shut up, please" and gave Simon a look of apology. He then repeated the line with a bit more force but was unable to wow Simon with his attempts at disapprobation.
Randy suggested that he instead singing in a group of the same type as Spandau Ballet, but Joshua did not like that idea at all. Simon encouraged him to forcefully tell Randy that he was wrong about that suggestion, but Joshua couldn't do it.
Finally the judges voted and unanimously passed Joshua through to Hollywood. Once he had that news, Randy tried to pump him up by having him repeat the phrases, "I'm gonna be great," "I am great," "I am the American Idol," and "I'm somebody." Randy had Joshua also repeat the phrase "Ain't nobody gonna beat my A." but then said that sounded a little weird coming from Joshua.
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Contestant #61399
Lisa works as a waitress but hopes that American Idol will help her switch from waiting on people to being waited on.
Simon asked Lisa why she hadn't auditioned before and she answered, "I always watch the show and I'm, "Why am I not on the show? I'm better than most of these people that are on the show." Lisa then sang Mariah Carey's Vision of Love and showed American exactly why she wasn't on the show.
After receiving a unanimous No from the judges, Lisa strutted out, showing her body off as she swung her hips from side to side. Randy and Simon started to change their minds, but it was too late.
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