Enjoy Simon Cowell on season nine of American Idol because he has announced that he will not return to the show after this season ends.
Love him or hate him (or both), Simon Cowell helps make American Idol what it is, particularly for those of us who enjoy watching the bizarre, laughable auditions. Simon is the judge who is not afraid to tell the less-than-serious contestants that they are making fools of themselves, as if they didn't already know.
What will American Idol be like without Simon? Will the funny auditions be allowed free reign as the other judges may not have the nerve to cut the acts off as quickly and harshly as Simon could?
It's hard to say how the fun auditions on Idol will go in a Simon-less environment. Only time will tell, but be sure to enjoy every one of Simon's quips this season while he's still around!
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Season 9 kicks off tonight, and we have a bunch of crazy auditions waiting for us! Fox released a multitude of audition pictures that show just how weird some of the contestants were. As with previous seasons, expect to see some of these zany characters in the audition episodes.
Here are the most interesting photos, picked by the editor:
- When this rainbow, tie-dye themed contestant (pictured here) strums his rainbow guitar, jellybeans appear from the strings.
- This is one creepy hooded dude. I have a strong feeling we will be seeing more of him on the show. Will he be creepy or hilarious . . . or both?
- I wonder if this guy performs under the name "Benny Hana". (Yes, it is a bad pun, thank you very much.)
- Maxine Headroom, I presume?
- Billy Idol meets Mr. T?
- News Flash: Scientists have genetically mixed the Tin Man, the Burger King, and Flavor Flav!
- As I have been saying for years, the bagpipes will soon make a splash in pop music!
- All the 1980s hair bands called. They want their look back.
- Who's more disturbing: The Queen of Goth Punk or the King of the Nerds?
- You've got to bring the bling to Idol! Something tells me that this guy is just in it for the money, though . . .
- A microphone belt buckle? Much like a car crash, I want to see more, but I don't want to see what I have already seen.
- Hey look! It's the strongest man in the world . . . willing to wear a rainbow wig.
- The Amish look returns to American Idol this year!
- Is this scary "woman" from Transylvannia?
- Does the peace symbol necklace get my point across? Naah, I better put on my red, white, and blue hat in the shape of a hand giving the peace sign. Then they'll know what I'm getting at!
- These glasses are so unique . . . would you like them in blue or red?
- This contestant better be bringing some old school rap to season nine!
- This man's shiny outfit will not go unnoticed.
- Does anyone else feel like eating some fried chicken right about now?
- Oh, darn. For a second I thought I saw Tiny Tim.
- One of these three contestants has a stronger chance of making it onto the Idle Idols site this year. Can you guess which one?
Which of these characters will make it onto the audition episodes? Who will be just as outlandish as their photo would suggest? Tune in this season and find out!
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Alexis Cohen was tragically killed early Saturday morning (July 25, 2009) when she was struck by a car in a hit-and-run incident. Daniel Bark has been charged with aggravated manslaughter and drunken driving.
Alexis Cohen (a.k.a. "Glitter Girl") twice appeared on American Idol. In season 7, Alexis first appeared. Outside the audition room, Alexis ranted for a while, spewing a string of profanities combined with multiple confused cliches and mixed metaphors. In season 8, Alexis reappeared with a new attitude, promising that she would behave. After her audition, she ended up giving the judges the double-finger before leaving.
Alexis was a great Idle Idol. Even while ranting and raving, she seemed to be upbeat about the whole thing. She was working on stand-up comedy and had even posted a MySpace video just the day before her death. If you are not allergic to adult language, you can watch the Alexis Cohen MySpace video.
Thanks, Alexis, for the fun times in both seasons.
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Katrina is better known by the masses as "Bikini Girl" from American Idol. Though she didn't wear a bikini in Hollywood, she did fall back on the "little black dress" option.
Katrina sang Faith Hill's Breathe. Kara and Paula complained that her voice thinned out as she progressed through the song. Simon and Randy (once again) argued that her voice had improved on the audition round.
Before we find out the result, Ryan asks: "But with just her voice stripped down, does she have enough to get through?"
As it turns out, Katrina did have enough, because she and the rest of her group was passed through to the next round.
Read about Katrina Darrell's original "bikini" audition.
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In Hollywood, we first flashed back to Nick's original audition, along with additional footage of him throwing his Norman Gentle costume in the garbage.
Nonetheless, we see his Norman Gentle character take the stage in that same costume, red sweatbands and all. As he took the stage, he introduced himself with, "All right, time for some honesty. I'm here to have some fun. I'm Norman Gentle. I am 27 years old. I'm from Stratton, Vermont and I am gonna rock it." Norman then pulled out a pitch pipe and played it off-key.
Norman then broke into Jennifer Hudson's And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going, except he changed the lyrics to sing about himself and he gave a shout-out to the balcony and to Seacrest to sing along:
I'm the best man you'll ever know
there's no way I could ever, ever go
Darling there's no way
no no no no no no no
no way I'm living without you
BALCONY!
I don't want want to be free
SEACREST!
I'm staying. I am
I am staying
And you and you and you and please you
Please won't you love me
Randy started with, "So listen, this is the funny thing about you, man. You are hilarious, dude. You are like banoodles kind of a guy but you know what? You actually can sing. You've got some skills in there, dawg!"
Simon, of course, chimed in by saying that "without the glasses and the silly haircut, [he's] just a boring person" and that when he puts on the costume he's a "joke".
Paula said it would be interesting to hear Nick sing a song "all stripped down". With a guy like Nick, you know you can't get away with a comment like that without a stripping joke. So as Nick started unbuttoning his shirt, Paula quickly said, "No, I don't mean you strip. That's OK. Nick, Norman, Nick, Norman." She also noted that she would like to hear him sing without all the silliness.
We're not sure what Kara had to say about Nick, but it seems that at least Randy and Paula agreed to pass Nick onto the next round because he was accepted!
Offstage, Nick told Ryan that he was going to retire the costume on American Idol, so we'll see what happens.
Nick Mitchell, you've got the combination that Idle Idols has been waiting years for: A quality singing voice with a great, comical act!
Read about Nick "Norman Gentle" Mitchell's original audition.
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Season 8's auditions are over and so is the fun . . . or is it?
This year, this site highlighted 38 Idle Idols in Season 8. Seven of these 38 contestants received a golden ticket and are headed to Hollywood!
Here's a quick recap of the contestants featured on Idle Idols who are headed to Hollywood:
- Katrina Darrell — Who could forget the bikini-clad contestant who sparred with Kara? Will she wear something revealing in Hollywood, and will her voice or her looks be enough to keep her from getting cut?
- Alex Wagner-Trugman — The mold-infested closet singer promised to become most popular in Abkazia, Zimbabwe, and Canada. But how about America?
- Michael Castro — Jason Castro's little brother started singing 20 days before his audition and was passed through to Hollywood.
- Tatiana Del Toro — The drama queen passed her press kit out and showed off her attitude.
- Joshua Ulloa — This catchy-but-gimmicky "Inspector Gadget" entertained the judges.
- Melinda Camille — This singer who enjoys dancing naked would get naked if all the judges did, too.
- Nick "Norman Gentle" Mitchell — One of the most entertaining auditions this year, Norman cracked wise and had the whole panel laughing with his routine, which included a joke about Simon and Seacrest getting it on.
As usual, Idle Idols expresses our sincere thanks for these contestants' wonderfully entertaining auditions. We wish you each the best of luck in Hollywood!
Stay tuned to Idle Idols, as we will continue to track any entertaining activity from these contestants as they try their best in Hollywood.
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News flash: Alexis Cohen was killed in a hit-and-run accident on Saturday, July 25, 2009. For more information, read the article "Alexis Cohen Dies in Accident."
Contestant #94720
Alexis returned to audition a second time. You may remember Alexis Cohen from Season 7, when she flipped us the double-bird and gave one of the best, angriest, and most convoluted post-audition speeches of American Idol history.
Alexis said she came to the New York audition with a whole new attitude: She has replaced the middle fingers with the two-thumbs-up symbol. We also see her meditating and chanting.
Alexis calmly walked into the audition room and informed the judges that she had a new attitude. She sang Madonna's Like a Prayer, but it didn't go well. The judges agreed that she actually sounded worse than her audition last season.
Simon noted that they had fully established that she cannot sing and Alexis politely said, "OK, thank you." Then she said, "I don't know what else to do except give you the finger," and promptly flipped Simon the double-bird yet again. Upon leaving, Alexis said, "Thank you. You're an [BLEEP]."
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Contestant #95437
Nick Mitchell, a.k.a. Norman Gentle, was dressed in a pretty crazy fashion: A bright red headband and matching wristbands, big glasses, a gaudy shirt, and khaki shorts. He ran into the audition room, jumped onto the stage, struck a pose, and shouted, "American Idol!"
Simon said that he didn't want Norman to be funny, but he just wanted Norman to be serious. Norman said, "OK then, it's done" and quickly transformed into Nick by removing the headband, wristbands, and glasses.
Nick sang Jennifer Hudson's And I Am Telling You in a serious manner, but certainly not up to Idol standards. Simon cracked a joke, thereby forcing Nick to revert back into Norman, and consequently kicking off the following banter:
Simon: Norman, you told me you weren't going to make this funny.
Norman: Oh! You hurt me where you get kicked sometimes. That was very hard!
Simon: I'd have thought you'd quite like that.
Norman: You mean the way you like it when Seacrest does it?
[All the judges yell "Whoa!"]
Norman: Whatcha say now, Simon?!?
Simon: That was funny! That was actually funny.
Simon said that Norman was becoming more likable, but that they weren't looking for "a ghastly cabaret comedy singer". Norman got a chair and did his best to belt out Amazing Grace. While he sang, Simon kept warning him not to pull faces, but Norman eventually slipped one in and Simon started yapping about his faces. Norman yelled in a shrill voice, "It's addictive!" and the judges started cracking up.
Paula said she loved him and Kara said it was the first time she had been entertained all day. Norman promised he wouldn't beg and then immediately screamed "[BLEEP] PLEASE!", and fell on the floor, prostrate. Paula gave Norman a "Yes" and Simon immediately retorted with "a categorical 'No'". Kara convinced Randy to give Norman a "Yes", so we'll be seeing him again in Hollywood!
Read about the rest of Norman Gentle's American Idol run.
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Contestant #64360
Joel says that he is known as "Rockero Loco", or "Crazy Rocker".
We see Joel singing a screamo song at an ice cream vendor with a song whose lyrics consist of "YOU ARE SELLING ICE CREAM!" over and over again. We also see Joel dressed up as a rat, going around and giving people rat hugs.
For his audition, Joel came in with a person-sized cardboard cutout of an iPod, which he referred to as "a human iPod" or "guyPod". Before singing, Joel reached through the iPod viewing window, adjusted the dial, and pressed play before singing Mr. Big's To Be With You. One line in, Simon asked for a new song. Rather than changing the iPod dial, Joel threw the guyPod down and started singing Marc Anthony's Don't Let Me Leave.
Simon stopped Joel and said, "I can't listen to this any more. I can't listen to this. I really, really can't. It's just awful. It's everything I hate. I hate everything. I mean, the whole act is excruciatingly bad. Honestly, it's just terrible." At this point, Joel pulled out his little friend, a lion hand puppet. Simon questioned the relevance of a lion on his hand for a singing competition, and Joel appropriately broke into his rendition of Elton John's Circle of Life (from The Lion King, of course).
The judges gave him the official four "No" votes. Joel responded by happily screaming, "Whoooo! I got a no! I got a no!" He then ran out of the audition room in a blue costume and jumped into the swimming pool.
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Contestant #91787
Mike dressed up with a sort of 80s metal look, including the big hair wig, armbands, fingerless gloves, sleeveless RATT shirt, and face paint. Mike didn't sing, but rather played his guitar music on his boom box as he rocked out.
Simon responded flatly, "All right, this is a complete and utter waste of time, this audition."
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Contestant #96837
Melinda feels like she has a message for the world: "Humanity is kind of taking a shift right now and I just want to be a part of it."
Melinda says she experiences happiness while she dances naked in her room. Simon suggested that this might be her method for sharing happiness with the world.
Kara asked Melinda if she wanted to be naked right then, and Melinda replied, "If you all were."
Simon suggested, "Why don't you imagine that Randy is naked?" and Melinda agreed.
Melinda sang Michael Buble's Feeling Good well enough to get passed through to Hollywood unanimously.
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