Gregory and Mia simultaneously sang separate parts of Distant Melody from Giuseppe Verdi's Rigoletto. They sang poorly, and they sang over top each other so it was unclear as to whose singing voice was worse.
After they finished, we hear only silence coming from the judges' table. Mia nodded confidently, and Simon nodded back in bewilderment.
After a little more silence, Gregory and Mia showed themselves out.
Paul is a park attendant and a member of the American Roller Coaster Enthusiasts. He spends most of his days mowing the park lawn and cleaning up the baseball field.
When we first see Paul, he is doing some weird, awkward dance moves that involve jerking his limbs almost randomly about.
In the audition room, Paul dropped the dance moves, but he did sing Elliott Yamin's Wait For You and snuck in a few voice cracks during his audition. He topped off the song with a breathy sigh.
Paul admitted to Simon that he hadn't actually sung in public before, but he had sung in front of his family. According to Paul, they had told him, "As far as I'm concerned, [snaps fingers and gives two thumbs up] two thumbs up!"
Despite Paula calling his audition "joyful" and Simon referring to it as "enthusiastic", it was clear that Paul would be getting three "no"s on this audition.
In his post-audition interview, Paul reflected, "Simon didn't come down on me like I thought he would, so that's always good, 'cause he goes down on just about everybody."
Christina is a huge Star Wars fan, and she proved it at her audition by wearing Princess Leia hair buns and a Star Wars belt. As she put it, "If you don't know this hair style, then you've been living on some moon on the other side of an M-class planet in Star Trek somewhere."
Christina sang Roger Daltrey's Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me, but was not passed through to Hollywood. As she left, Simon mumbled, "Give my love to the wookie."
In her post-audition interview, Christina dropped a couple censored words that flustered her grandfather. She continued her rant outside about how American Idol only takes the good looking contestants (which is true) and that she would have had a chance with her voice if she had that same look (which is not true). The show poked fun at her and defended itself by showing Hollywood-bound contestants that didn't fit with what she was saying. (e.g. Christina rants about a lack of "diversity" while we see a black contestant holding a golden ticket.)
Pre-audition, Ben was walking around with a heavy, full-length robe. He admitted to Ryan that it was quite hot underneath the robe, but he wanted his costume to be a surprise for the judges.
In the audition, he removed his robe to reveal a skimpy Spartan-esque outfit consisting of a bikini-top and a pair of shorts with a robe flowing down in the front between his legs.
Paula admitted that she couldn't get past Ben's chest hair — the bikini top (or whatever you'd call it) seemed to be framing his chest hair in a sort of sick centerpiece. Ben offered to wax his chest hair and come back, and Paula agreed.
Ben really did take Paula's advice and removed all the hair on his torso. Paula started to ask him to turn around so they could see the back, but decided that wasn't the best idea.
Ben started to sing The Pussycat Dolls' Don't Cha which included a dance, however Simon almost immediately declared that he had enough of Ben and cut him off.
Paul sang a long song he wrote specifically for Paula Abdul:
There is this girl I know, I follow her around.
She hasn't noticed me, it really gets me down.
I broke into her house when she wasn't there,
Took off all my clothes and tried on her underwear.
I'm always thinking of her.
I really think that I love her.
I'm not much of a talker,
so I guess that I'll just stalk her.
Yeah, I'll stalk her.
If she were a doggy, I would walk her.
If she were a blackboard, I would chalk her.
If I were Colombo, I'd Peter Falk her.
But I'm not, so I'll just stalk her.
If she were at bat with a guy on first, I would balk her.
If she were Willona from Good Times, I'd be Jimmy Walker
If she were a bathtub, I would caulk her.
The song was cut off there as the judges informed Paul that his song was creepy, and security helped escort Paul back out the audition doors.
I'm just wondering how many more puns Paul had lined up . . .
Milo is a 39 year old, bald man with glasses and a leopard pattern vest..
Milo went into the audition admitting that he was overage, but also with a message he felt that young adults and teenagers needed to hear.
Milo's song is titled No Sex Allowed. The song is a several verses of poorly formed couplets about resisting sex. Milo even stomp-marches the beat as he sings the song:
I'm sitting around minding my biz.
Something's wrong and I don't know what it is.
My girl comes 'round, she's an Oedipus Rex.
She starts playing with me — all she wants is sex.
But take it from me, hear what I say.
I don't need that, there's a better way
So I promise her love as she sings along
'cuz sex is weak and love is strong. Whoooo!
No sex allowed! I don't want to be part of your crowd.
No sex allowed! And if you don't like it, get out of town!
News flash: Alexis Cohen was killed in a hit-and-run accident on Saturday, July 25, 2009. For more information, read the article "Alexis Cohen Dies in Accident."
Contestant #83542
Alexis admitted, "I like things that shine. I'm like a pirate." She proved this with her attire: Thick silver glitter over her eyes, multi-color star-shaped earrings, and a shirt with a sparkly design on it.
Alexis' pre-audition plan? "Judges, I plan to knock you on your feet." I'm not quite sure how that works on a literal or a figurative plane.
In the audition, Alexis sang Grace Slick's Somebody To Love. She didn't sing well enough for American Idol, but the judges did suggest that she might do well in a 60s cover band.
Alexis took her defeat fairly well in the audition room, but when she exited, she ranted about Simon and about how "snugly" [sic] he looked at her. Back in the audition room, Simon compared Alexis to Willem Dafoe.
Alexis gave the finger to the camera several times and declared, "I'm going for actressing." At this point, Alexis' mother chimes in for the first time and we get an idea of what parentage might result in a character like Alexis.
And here's how Alexis' final rant down the escalator went:
I'll make it one day. One day, somehow, some way. And I hope that someone sees that I have some talent somewhere whether it be in acting or singing or whether it be the fact that I have the chutzpah and the [censored] to be able to get up and talk — to be able to say what I'm thinking, to be able to say what I mean, to be able to speak the heart, to be able to talk, to be able to lead. I will be victorious, always be victorious, all rising.
Christina is a huge Star Wars fan, and she proved it at her audition by wearing Princess Leia hair buns and a Star Wars belt. As she put it, "If you don't know this hair style, then you've been living on some moon on the other side of an M-class planet in Star Trek somewhere."
Pre-audition, Ben was walking around with a heavy, full-length robe. He admitted to Ryan that it was quite hot underneath the robe, but he wanted his costume to be a surprise for the judges.
Paula admitted that she couldn't get past Ben's chest hair — the bikini top (or whatever you'd call it) seemed to be framing his chest hair in a sort of sick centerpiece. Ben offered to wax his chest hair and come back, and Paula agreed.
Paul sang a long song he wrote specifically for Paula Abdul:
Milo is a 39 year old, bald man with glasses and a leopard pattern vest..
Alexis admitted, "I like things that shine. I'm like a pirate." She proved this with her attire: Thick silver glitter over her eyes, multi-color star-shaped earrings, and a shirt with a sparkly design on it.