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Contestant #56287
We first see Mere (pronounced like "Mary") standing outside, soaked from Boston's morning rain shower because she failed to bring an umbrella or even a coat. Luckily, she mimed an umbrella with her hands, which I'm sure kept her nice and dry all morning long . . .
Mere refers to herself as an "otaku" (おたく/オタク), which Wikipedia defines as "a Japanese term used to refer to people with obsessive interests, particularly anime, manga, and video games." Mere even showed off a kimono and some anime-type outfits that she had designed.
Mere sang Janis Joplin's Piece of My Heart with gusto and verve, but unfortunately without much vocal skill. The judges all let her know that singing was not the way to go.
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Contestant #60639
Pre-audition, Derek shares his story: "I started getting into music when I was at the lowest peak in life. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I just would go on long nature walks. I started gradu — gradua — gradutating to music."
Derrick claimed that he sounded like Chris Brown and the Eagles, but when Derrick sang Elton John's Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word it sounded more like an off-key Aaron Neville followed by an off-key falsetto followed by an off-key . . . you get the point. With all the voice changes during his solo, Randy referred to him as "Multi-Derek".
Derek was upset about not getting passed through to Hollywood because he "hit a lot of loud notes."
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Contestant #52322
When we first see Pat, he is enthusiastically dancing. Pat mentions that he's not afraid to be himself, and we find out that his true self really likes to "Holla".
Pat walked into the audition room and tried to get Simon pumped by asking him twice, "Are you ready, Simon?!?" Simon answered with a dismissive shrug before Pat broke into a low-quality version of Britney Spears' Womanizer. During the song, Pat broke out his dance moves again, which even seemed choreographed. This got Kara in the mood, and she started dancing along.
Pat told Simon that he seemed even sassier in person. Simon admitted that he didn't have many friends in school and ate lunch by himself.
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Contestant #52461
Janet likes to get really psyched for auditions and job interviews by repeatedly jumping up and down to get the adrenaline flowing while she shouts compliments at herself in the mirror. Janet's jumping also helped accentuate her bouncing stomach that stuck out below her shirt.
Better yet, Janet was filled with confidence due to the endless compliments from the judges . . . on the American Idol karaoke game.
Janet sang Natasha Bedingfield's Pocketful of Sunshine in a manner that apparently only a computer game could love. While she was explaining that Randy always loved her, she mentioned Paula (who is not judging this season) but pointed to Kara. After sorting out who Kara was (Janet claimed she knew all along), Simon told her, "Unfortunately, Janet, this is real life and this character is going to give you a resounding 'No' after that."
In her post-audition interview, Janet told Ryan that "Paula did think I was good, so that was good." Ryan questioned that and wondered what audition she had been in.
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Enjoy Simon Cowell on season nine of American Idol because he has announced that he will not return to the show after this season ends.
Love him or hate him (or both), Simon Cowell helps make American Idol what it is, particularly for those of us who enjoy watching the bizarre, laughable auditions. Simon is the judge who is not afraid to tell the less-than-serious contestants that they are making fools of themselves, as if they didn't already know.
What will American Idol be like without Simon? Will the funny auditions be allowed free reign as the other judges may not have the nerve to cut the acts off as quickly and harshly as Simon could?
It's hard to say how the fun auditions on Idol will go in a Simon-less environment. Only time will tell, but be sure to enjoy every one of Simon's quips this season while he's still around!
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Season 9 kicks off tonight, and we have a bunch of crazy auditions waiting for us! Fox released a multitude of audition pictures that show just how weird some of the contestants were. As with previous seasons, expect to see some of these zany characters in the audition episodes.
Here are the most interesting photos, picked by the editor:
- When this rainbow, tie-dye themed contestant (pictured here) strums his rainbow guitar, jellybeans appear from the strings.
- This is one creepy hooded dude. I have a strong feeling we will be seeing more of him on the show. Will he be creepy or hilarious . . . or both?
- I wonder if this guy performs under the name "Benny Hana". (Yes, it is a bad pun, thank you very much.)
- Maxine Headroom, I presume?
- Billy Idol meets Mr. T?
- News Flash: Scientists have genetically mixed the Tin Man, the Burger King, and Flavor Flav!
- As I have been saying for years, the bagpipes will soon make a splash in pop music!
- All the 1980s hair bands called. They want their look back.
- Who's more disturbing: The Queen of Goth Punk or the King of the Nerds?
- You've got to bring the bling to Idol! Something tells me that this guy is just in it for the money, though . . .
- A microphone belt buckle? Much like a car crash, I want to see more, but I don't want to see what I have already seen.
- Hey look! It's the strongest man in the world . . . willing to wear a rainbow wig.
- The Amish look returns to American Idol this year!
- Is this scary "woman" from Transylvannia?
- Does the peace symbol necklace get my point across? Naah, I better put on my red, white, and blue hat in the shape of a hand giving the peace sign. Then they'll know what I'm getting at!
- These glasses are so unique . . . would you like them in blue or red?
- This contestant better be bringing some old school rap to season nine!
- This man's shiny outfit will not go unnoticed.
- Does anyone else feel like eating some fried chicken right about now?
- Oh, darn. For a second I thought I saw Tiny Tim.
- One of these three contestants has a stronger chance of making it onto the Idle Idols site this year. Can you guess which one?
Which of these characters will make it onto the audition episodes? Who will be just as outlandish as their photo would suggest? Tune in this season and find out!
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Alexis Cohen was tragically killed early Saturday morning (July 25, 2009) when she was struck by a car in a hit-and-run incident. Daniel Bark has been charged with aggravated manslaughter and drunken driving.
Alexis Cohen (a.k.a. "Glitter Girl") twice appeared on American Idol. In season 7, Alexis first appeared. Outside the audition room, Alexis ranted for a while, spewing a string of profanities combined with multiple confused cliches and mixed metaphors. In season 8, Alexis reappeared with a new attitude, promising that she would behave. After her audition, she ended up giving the judges the double-finger before leaving.
Alexis was a great Idle Idol. Even while ranting and raving, she seemed to be upbeat about the whole thing. She was working on stand-up comedy and had even posted a MySpace video just the day before her death. If you are not allergic to adult language, you can watch the Alexis Cohen MySpace video.
Thanks, Alexis, for the fun times in both seasons.
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