I was in the Army. I was in Korea. Being in the Army is very depressing so they need some form of entertainment, some type of morale. I used to sing for the troops. I was told not to sing in uniform. You know, I couldn't help it and I got in trouble. Screw you, Sergeant Hart, I'm the next American Idol.

Brian chose to sing Tiny Tim's Tiptoe through the Tulips, including tiptoeing around the stage.

The judges asked him if that was a joke and Brian stuck to his guns, swearing even on his mother's life that the audition was not a joke. Throughout the discussion, he referred to the judges as "ma'am", "sir", "Mr. Jackson", and "Mr. Cowell". Kara asked him if he really tiptoed around and he answered, "Ask anyone from grade school through current. Yes I do, ma'am."

After the whole ordeal, Brian said, "I feel like slipping into a warm bubble bath and relaxing my thoughts."

We see Crazy Accordion Lady only for a brief moment in a montage of crazy contestants.

Why do we call her Crazy Accordion Lady, you ask? Well, it could be:

1. The crazy blue hair she had.
2. The red, white, and blue accordion she played during the audition.
3. The fact that this contestant was a lady.
4. Or . . . it could be the only lyrics we heard from her song:
   

   I am the crazy accordion lady.
   This is my song –

Well, perhaps we'll never know.

Sporting a shirt that says "It's not illegal unless you get caught!", this unnamed contestant (Let's call him Kelly, shall we?) sang a song in a high-pitched, nasal voice. The lyrics that we hear are fairly simple:

My name is Kelly, Ke-Kelly.
My name is Kelly, Kell-Kell –
My name is Kelly, Ke-Kelly.
Do you hear my name?

All we see from the judges are Simon in a state of shock, Shania Twain smiling, and Randy saying "Dude, no, no."

Amy is an effervescent, hyperactive woman who can hold up both ends of a conversation. She decided that it was worth it to wait in line for a couple days to obtain worldwide fame.

If someone were to write a musical about Amy, she guesses that it would be titled Amy Lang. Amy Lang! Amy Lang!!! The Musical.

Amy let Ryan Seacrest know that he was the first celebrity that she had an inappropriate dream about. As Ryan sent Amy into the audition room, Ryan mouthed to the camera, "Oh my God!"

Before Amy began singing Aretha Franklin's Dr. Feelgood, she fell limp on the stage, apparently passed out. After five full seconds of silence (and stillness), Amy suddenly sat up and started singing the song.

After the song, Amy showed off one of her talents: Something she likes to call "The Boob Flex". Randy called it "Musical Boobs" and Kara referred to it as "BoobBoxing", at which point Amy pretended like she was beatboxing but continued with the boob flexes.

After getting a No vote from Simon, Amy asked, "Really? Even though I can sing?"

Simon replied, "Yeah . . . they're not going to go to Hollywood."