Season 8, Episode 7

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Alexis Cohen (Again!)

News flash: Alexis Cohen was killed in a hit-and-run accident on Saturday, July 25, 2009. For more information, read the article "Alexis Cohen Dies in Accident."

Contestant #94720

Alexis returned to audition a second time. You may remember Alexis Cohen from Season 7, when she flipped us the double-bird and gave one of the best, angriest, and most convoluted post-audition speeches of American Idol history.

Alexis said she came to the New York audition with a whole new attitude: She has replaced the middle fingers with the two-thumbs-up symbol. We also see her meditating and chanting.

Alexis calmly walked into the audition room and informed the judges that she had a new attitude. She sang Madonna's Like a Prayer, but it didn't go well. The judges agreed that she actually sounded worse than her audition last season.

Simon noted that they had fully established that she cannot sing and Alexis politely said, "OK, thank you." Then she said, "I don't know what else to do except give you the finger," and promptly flipped Simon the double-bird yet again. Upon leaving, Alexis said, "Thank you. You're an [BLEEP]."

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Nick "Norman Gentle" Mitchell

Contestant #95437

Nick Mitchell, a.k.a. Norman Gentle, was dressed in a pretty crazy fashion: A bright red headband and matching wristbands, big glasses, a gaudy shirt, and khaki shorts. He ran into the audition room, jumped onto the stage, struck a pose, and shouted, "American Idol!"

Simon said that he didn't want Norman to be funny, but he just wanted Norman to be serious. Norman said, "OK then, it's done" and quickly transformed into Nick by removing the headband, wristbands, and glasses.

Nick sang Jennifer Hudson's And I Am Telling You in a serious manner, but certainly not up to Idol standards. Simon cracked a joke, thereby forcing Nick to revert back into Norman, and consequently kicking off the following banter:

Simon: Norman, you told me you weren't going to make this funny.
Norman: Oh! You hurt me where you get kicked sometimes. That was very hard!
Simon: I'd have thought you'd quite like that.
Norman: You mean the way you like it when Seacrest does it?
[All the judges yell "Whoa!"]
Norman: Whatcha say now, Simon?!?
Simon: That was funny! That was actually funny.

Simon said that Norman was becoming more likable, but that they weren't looking for "a ghastly cabaret comedy singer". Norman got a chair and did his best to belt out Amazing Grace. While he sang, Simon kept warning him not to pull faces, but Norman eventually slipped one in and Simon started yapping about his faces. Norman yelled in a shrill voice, "It's addictive!" and the judges started cracking up.

Paula said she loved him and Kara said it was the first time she had been entertained all day. Norman promised he wouldn't beg and then immediately screamed "[BLEEP] PLEASE!", and fell on the floor, prostrate. Paula gave Norman a "Yes" and Simon immediately retorted with "a categorical 'No'". Kara convinced Randy to give Norman a "Yes", so we'll be seeing him again in Hollywood!

Read about the rest of Norman Gentle's American Idol run.

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Joel Contreras

Contestant #64360

Joel says that he is known as "Rockero Loco", or "Crazy Rocker".

We see Joel singing a screamo song at an ice cream vendor with a song whose lyrics consist of "YOU ARE SELLING ICE CREAM!" over and over again. We also see Joel dressed up as a rat, going around and giving people rat hugs.

For his audition, Joel came in with a person-sized cardboard cutout of an iPod, which he referred to as "a human iPod" or "guyPod". Before singing, Joel reached through the iPod viewing window, adjusted the dial, and pressed play before singing Mr. Big's To Be With You. One line in, Simon asked for a new song. Rather than changing the iPod dial, Joel threw the guyPod down and started singing Marc Anthony's Don't Let Me Leave.

Simon stopped Joel and said, "I can't listen to this any more. I can't listen to this. I really, really can't. It's just awful. It's everything I hate. I hate everything. I mean, the whole act is excruciatingly bad. Honestly, it's just terrible." At this point, Joel pulled out his little friend, a lion hand puppet. Simon questioned the relevance of a lion on his hand for a singing competition, and Joel appropriately broke into his rendition of Elton John's Circle of Life (from The Lion King, of course).

The judges gave him the official four "No" votes. Joel responded by happily screaming, "Whoooo! I got a no! I got a no!" He then ran out of the audition room in a blue costume and jumped into the swimming pool.

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Mike Perlman

Contestant #91787

Mike dressed up with a sort of 80s metal look, including the big hair wig, armbands, fingerless gloves, sleeveless RATT shirt, and face paint. Mike didn't sing, but rather played his guitar music on his boom box as he rocked out.

Simon responded flatly, "All right, this is a complete and utter waste of time, this audition."

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Melinda Camille

Contestant #96837

Melinda feels like she has a message for the world: "Humanity is kind of taking a shift right now and I just want to be a part of it."

Melinda says she experiences happiness while she dances naked in her room. Simon suggested that this might be her method for sharing happiness with the world.

Kara asked Melinda if she wanted to be naked right then, and Melinda replied, "If you all were."

Simon suggested, "Why don't you imagine that Randy is naked?" and Melinda agreed.

Melinda sang Michael Buble's Feeling Good well enough to get passed through to Hollywood unanimously.

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Adeola Adegoke

Contestant #92353

Adeola is a 19-year-old who says she is compared to Mariah Carey or Mary J. Blige.

Adeola quit her job as a bank teller because she was so confident in her singing abilities. (Regardless of one's singing abilities, it may be worth noting how much time elapses between the auditions and the Hollywood show, and how much time beyond that there is before anyone actually sees any money.)

Adeola sang Jennifer Hudson's And I Am Telling You in a warbly, unconfident voice. Simon suggested that she retract the resignation letter because the audition was "shockingly bad." Adeola tried singing again, and Simon even said he would call her boss to get her job back.

Ryan got Ade's boss David on the phone and asked if he would talk with Simon. The boss agreed, and Simon sat down with Adeola and talked with David. They both agreed that Adeola was a great person, and David agreed to give Adeola her job back.

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