Carlene wore one of the oddest outfits to her audition. She wore red body fishnet on her arms and legs along with a grey skirt and vest. Carlene explained, "My outfit today expresses that I am very excited, a little nervous. I think my outfit just means who I am and what I'm about — craziness, goofiness, and loud — I'm very loud."

Because of the red fishnet covering her body, Simon told Carlene that she looked sunburned.

Randy sang "I like big –" and Carlene immediately sang the next few lines with gusto. She admitted, "I've got a big booty, I'm fluffy," which prompted Paula to give her approval of the term.

Originally, Carlene intended Hit Me With Your Best Shot until she found out that Simon hates the song. It seems that any song choice would not have helped Carlene advance to the next round, however. The judges quickly and matter-of-factly declined. Carlene brought Tika, her pet miniature Pomeranian, to American Idol but did not bring the pet into the audition. Unfortunately, the dog did not give her much luck in the audition. Maybe she should have brought it in to sing instead.

Again referring to the fishnet, Simon asked, "What was that net she was wearing? . . . It looked like she'd been caught in a net."

Steven is called Red because he truly is a redhead. From his red hair to his red facial hair, he has earned his name.

Red sang Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody in the highest pitch he could muster — so high, in fact, that many of the notes never made it out of his mouth.

After singing, he told the judges that he felt that a bit of coaching would help him win the audition. He challenged Simon to coach him and prove that he was a great vocal coach, but Simon told him, "It would be like coaching a one-legged man to win the 100 meter sprint."

Red's parting message to the judges was, "Hey, the way I see it, don't — don't be about it — er, don't, hey — don't sing about it, be about. All right? Don't sing it, just bring it. Aight?"

Eric is a hairdresser that looks like Taylor Hicks.

Eric said that he wanted to distinguish himself apart from Taylor, but he also contemplated doing some Taylor moves during his audition, noting that "If I portray him, it's just me."

Eric's singing talent wasn't of the same calibre as Taylor's, though. He was quickly rejected by the judges.

Kenneth believed that he was the next American Idol, but he certainly didn't look the part. He sort of looked like an even weirder looking Steve Buscemi.

After singing 'N Sync's Tearin' Up My Heart, the judges gave him the bad news. After some discussion, Simon told Kenneth, "You look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes. What are they called? Bush babies."

During the wait to audition, Kenneth formed a friendship with Jonathan Jayne, a kindly guy with a rotund figure. They supported each other through the process, but neither made it to Hollywood.

Nick came out for the American Idol auditions because his friends had heard a couple instrumental demos he had recorded.

Nick came into the audition with nervously wide eyes. After butchering Unchained Melody, Simon's favorite song, Simon asked, "What the bloody hell was that?"

During the post-audition interview with Ryan, Nick created several awkward pauses and disturbingly long blinks. He finished his brief interview with "That's pretty much all I have to say about that. [pregnant, 10 second pause] Where'd my stuff go?"

Nick thought that he might watch the tape to get an idea of what he could do to improve, but then he considered the fact that he just might scare himself.

Update: Nick has posted a direct link to one of his demos, presumably titled "Sleep Now."

David Mills was half William Hung, half Napoleon Dynamite.

After singing Lean on Me, Simon let him off easy by saying, "This has been one of the worst days we've ever had, and you are probably the worst we've had today."

David said that his American Idol rejection was a big wake-up call for him.

Mischa's image is not the American Idol standard. It's more like the frizzy blonde hair, dark frames, bright red lipstick, "The reason I am sexy is it's more an attitude in my opinion. It's not just your look that makes you sexy. It's confidence, it's an attitude — it's just something that you just project to people."

Ryan also talks with Mischa's mother. Mischa is a carbon copy of her mother, except her mom has longer, darker hair.

With a sexy blonde bombshell like this, the choice of song — The Pussycat Dolls' Don't Cha — seemed obvious.

Mischa and her mother took the rejection quite gracefully, most likely because they are huge fans of Simon, who inspired them to write a novella about a singing contest.

Amy's husband was not supportive of her auditioning because he said that she was wasting her time. Amy thought that he probably just didn't want her running off to Hollywood and leaving him alone. Amy told her heartwarming story about her six year old son's faith in her and her singing ability.

Once Amy started singing, however, we quickly sided with her husband. Amy sang Christina Aguilera's Reflection well below American Idol quality. Amy blamed her singing on a cold she had, but even a drink of water did not help the fact that she was tone deaf.

Despite Amy's inherent inability to sing, she stuck by her excuse, explaining that even Beyonce would sound awful if she were sick.

Jennifer walked in chewing gum, and Paula reminded her that she couldn't sing with gum in her mouth. Not quite sure where to put her gum, she looked around a bit until Simon told her to stick it on Taylor's face.

Jennifer sang Tenderoni's Baby I for the judges. When they tried to stop her poor singing, she kept singing "Give me your love."

Simon quickly replied, "No, we're not gonna give you any love."

Jennifer retorted with, "Maybe I don't want it," a comment that received Paula's immediate approval. Simon then gave her his opinion of her singing, but Jennifer didn't want to hear any of it. Simon asked her why she was there if she didn't want to hear his opinion, and she just replied by asking Simon why he was there.

Simon said, matter of factly, "I'm here to judge you, sweetheart." While the judges continued to argue with Jennifer, she suddenly broke into Justin Timberlake's How Come You Don't Call Me, singing as loud as she was off-key. The judges had to yell to her to stop.

Simon asked her why she didn't get a job down in the port, so Jennifer told him to "get a report as a brain surgeon and do yourself a lobotomy."

Last year, Deputy Brandon Groves showed up in Chicago for American Idol 5. Guess what? He's baa-aaack!

Brandon shed the deputy's uniform for an Uncle Sam outfit (or is it supposed to be Apollo Creed?).

Paula suggested that next year, Brandon might be dressed as an Indian chief to follow up the policeman and Uncle Sam costumes, keeping with the Village People theme.

Ryan asked Brandon if they had taken him seriously in that outfit, but Brandon blamed his rejection on "nerves, again."

I'll bet this isn't the last we've seen of Brandon Groves.