William came to audition with his cousin, Akron Watson (Contestant #44185). Akron claimed that he was Bruce Banner to his cousin William's Incredible Hulk.

William sang Amazing Grace as low and as slowly as he could.

William informed the judges that he was going to stop at the door and trash talk them, and the judges gave their approval. Sure enough, when William got to the door, he yelled back, "And don't make me come back in there and tell y'all again! That's good singing! Y'all better learn what good singing is!"

William may not have gotten the judges' approval, but he was thrilled to see Akron make it through to Hollywood.

Bryan was not intimidated by the judges. Why not? In his words, "Paula, Randy, and Simon put on one leg in their pants just like everybody else, so I'm not afraid."

Bryan sang Billy Idol's Rebel Yell. During the "pumpin' on the floor" lyric, Bryan dropped to his knees with all his weight and then jumped back up. Paula and Randy gasped, horrified that the move was probably quite painful.

Byran also pumped his fist in the air each time he screamed "More more more," and Paula and Randy joined in with their own fist pumping.

Bryan had won a mock American Idol contest, so Simon pondered about how bad the person who came in last in that contest was.

What does Eric want to do in American Idol? In his own words: "I wanna break out of the mold. I want to take what other people have done and multiply it and then raise it to higher heights. I then basically I want to fluctuate it and reverberate it, and make the vocals blend in with the music and then also stand out from the contrast."

Eric sang Black Sabbath's Sabbath Bloody Sabbath in a high, squeaky pitch. Simon told him that it wasn't a serious performance and told him to sing it lower. Eric sang it through a second time with parts of the lyric a bit lower, but the higher parts still hit the squeaky range. Simon was about to have Eric sing it again, but lower, but Randy jumped in and said that it wouldn't help.

Eric then switched to Hillary Duff's Fly, but Simon couldn't even distinguish which song he had sang, calling him "absolutely atrocious."

After Eric left the audition room, Simon spotted on the audition form that he had been learning to sing from Randy and Paula DVD set: Ultimate Voice Coach — Learn to Sing Like a Star!. Simon tried calling Eric into the audition, but Randy and Paula were yelling at him to leave the room. Simon ran up to catch Eric during his interview with Ryan, but Randy and Paula even went so far as to sprint after Simon to block him from talking with Eric and Ryan about it. Eric excused himself and left the building during the commotion.

Darold is dating Cavett Carr. Complete with a grill and neverending love for Cavett, he was ready to take the judges by storm.

Simon brought up the fact that Cavett had been forward with Simon, but Darold responded, "I'm not jealous. Look at my teeth — what would I be jealous for?"

Darold sang David Ruffin's I Wish It Would Rain, but not nearly well enough to pass through to the next round. The judges declined, and Darold was soon reunited with Cavett.

Cavett is dating Darold Gray. Pre-audition, Cavett pronounced to the camera:

[take 1] American Idol, me and Darold will be your next —
[take 2] America, me and Darold will be the first American Idol finalists –
[take 3] American Idol, you're looking at the next couple, me and Darold, that will be getting married. Finalists."

Cavett sang Mary J. Blige's I'm Going Down, including references to Simon throughout. Post-audition, Cavett started flirting with Simon, winking at him and licking her lips, until Simon told her that she was making him nervous. Simon told Cavett, "You are fabulous, but it was the singing that was slight off-putting."

Sophat dressed like a banana and sang the Buckwheat Boys' Peanut Butter Jelly Time.

The song was popularized years ago by a flash animation that went viral.

The judges interrupted Sophat's performance, and he had to readjust his banana outfit to see Simon call him "forgettable."

Grace did not sing well when she sang Whitney Houston's One Moment in Time, but what made this audition unique is her outfit.

Initially, we saw an odd-looking cowboy hat on her head, but when the camera pulled back, we could see the full outfit.

What did Grace wear? She chose an outfit that made it look like she was much shorter and riding a bull: Her legs made up the legs of a bull, and fake inflatable protuberances made up the bull's head (angry expression included) and tiny cowboy legs and boots.

Sholandric said that he tried out because "it's time to bring the romance and the love back into the music, and I feel like I have that to bring."

Sholandric sang Peabo Bryson's If Ever You're in My Arms Again. After a lackluster performance, Simon quickly raised his hand and gave a one word judgement: "Hideous." Randy told him that he had hit about 12 keys in the chorus and just shook his head.

Eccentric is the self-proclaimed "most exciting entertainer on the planet Earth" and claimed to have "fire equaling three men."

How can you sum up Eccentric's goals in life? Just read for yourself: "I'm an athlete. I will get into acting as well. I will get into modeling, and I will get into being an author as well as a singer, songwriter, rapper, choreographer, producer, and composer."

Eccentric claimed to be a panther and his performance showed it. As Eccentric walked into the room, he spun his notebook in front of him onto the stage. He then flung his glasses to his left and his jacket to his right. He removed his shirt and then started pacing back and forth like a panther, occasionally growling or hissing at the judges. This went on for quite some time. Finally, after some prompting from Simon, Eccentric finally sang one of his own songs, Sweetest Princess.

Needless to say, the judges quickly decided that he was not right for the competition.

Brandy sang Like a Virgin, but she certainly didn't sing it as well as Madonna. During the chorus, she took off her sweater and caressed her body.

After Simon gave some bad comments about the song, Brandy blamed the floor for her poor audition. Simon let her audition on the carpet instead. There, she sang Proud Mary, but Simon claimed that it made her even worse. He told Brandy that she was "barking mad."

Brandy continued to gripe about Simon and Randy making a mistake by letting her slip by. Simon wanted her to leave and told her, "Enough with this rubbish."

Brandy replied to this with, "Ruffish, muffish."

Lakia sang Deborah Cox's How Did You Get Here. Her rendition was painfully off-pitch and nasal. Particularly painful was the screaming of "standing here."

Post-audition, the judges had an interesting conversation with Lakia:

Simon: Seriously, Lakia, that was a complete and utter mess.
Lakia: People say I can sing.
Randy: Really?
Lakia: Yes.
Simon: So when you hear yourself, you're hearing what? A good singer?
Lakia: Uh-huh.
Simon: Right. We're not. You have probably one of the worst voices we've had in Birmingham.
Lakia: Thank you.

That's southern charm for you, I guess.

Pre-audition, Chris tells us, "Some people tell me that I look like Jack Osborne. Some people say that I look like Jack Black. But when I look in the mirror every morning, it's not those people that I see, it's . . . Christina Aguilera that I see in the mirror. I think that's who my body looks most like."

Randy started out by asking Chris why he was there, and Chris told him, "I really wanna make David Hasselhoff cry," referencing the moment we saw a teary-eyed David Hasselhoff during the American Idol 5 finale.

Chris sang Seal's Kiss from a Rose, garnering a standing ovation from Paula. The judges liked Chris enough to pass him onto Hollywood.

Post-audition, Chris revealed his strategy: "I just looked right at Paula and she crumbled in my chubby little hands."

Margaret wore a bright yellow, furry/fringed top that looked more like a Big Bird costume than anything else. In fact, her scene started out with the Sesame Street theme song playing.

Despite the fact that Margaret looked much older, she stuck to her story that she was 26 years old.

Margaret said that she was working on a clothing line for plus-size girls, and she paraded around in her outfit, flashing the captive American Idol contestants.

After the audition, Simon commented, "I have no idea what this show is anymore. I'm serious. I've got you standing in front of me looking like some Easter Bunny, nightmare experiment."

Isadora is a psychic. Pre-audition, she did a poor job of reading Ryan's palm, and if she truly was clairvoyant, she wouldn't have wasted her time in the audition room.

Isadora told Ryan that her first name started with a "J," but she wouldn't tell him what it was. Ryan guessed female J names until Isadora's answer changed from "No"s to "I'm taking the 5th" when he guessed "Julie." Up until the audition, Ryan continued to call her Julie, forcing her to correct him each and every time.

Isadora sang the American Idol classic Lady Marmalade, and it was horrid. Her tambourine probably didn't help her performance much.

Simon asked her what happens when she sings in public, Isadore answered that "sometimes when I sing other places, I could get arrested."

When the judges started talking to her about Chris Daughtry, Simon cut them off with, "I don't think rational advice is necessary at this point."

In Isadora's post-audition interview, we get a pretty solid look at Isadora's personality:

Ryan: How would you sum up day two in New York?
Isadora: Day two or three?
Ryan: For us, it was two.
Isadora: Oh, OK.
Ryan: How many for you?
Isadora: Three?
Ryan: I think that pretty much sums it up.

One of the episode's best contestants appeared during the All Night Long montage. Number 4156 wore a red track suit and sang, "All night long . . . Umm . . . Oh, what a feeling, when we're dancing on the ceiling — wait, is that the wrong Lionel Ritchie song?"

When we first saw Rachel outside the audition she had rainbow-tinted sunglasses, multi-colored hair band, and pink-and-green braces. In other words, she looked like she had just beaten up Rainbow Brite or Punky Brewster and stolen their clothes.

Rachel first sang a gravely rendition of Jeff Buckley's Eternal Life. The judges heard something they liked but were unhappy with the song choice. She then sang Justin Guarini's Get Here, followed by some opera at Randy's request.

Rachel got a golden ticket and was passed onto Hollywood. Whoever said Rainbow Brite wouldn't make a comeback?

Christopher has been told that he resembles George Michael and Simon Cowell. When he walked in, Paula said that they were identical.

Christopher sang Kelly Clarkson's I Never Lived Before Your Love, and he had no problem hitting all the high notes. Simon responded, "The reality is, is that you should be singing in a dress and stilettos."

Randy suggested that he try singing some Barry White for the audition instead.

Paula tried to suggest that Christopher create an act around his strengths. Simon cut her off because it had nothing to do with American Idol, which infuriated Paula.

47 year old Antonio dressed like Frank Sinatra to sing New York, New York.

Antonio's rendition was a quiet half-singing, half-talking. The most distinctive part of the song, however, is that he sang "New Yor, New Yor."

Antonio really missed the boat on that one.

Ryan was then shown in New York City saying, "Ahh, yes. Good ol' New Yor, New Yor."

Before her audition, Nichole Claiborne, a.k.a. Nakia or "Little Shirley" (for Shirley Caesar), was a seemingly limitless supply of energy and infectious excitement.

Nakia said, "Sometimes you gotta keep your composure, you don't want people to think you're crazy" — and then she continued shaking, laughing, and bouncing all over.

Nakia's performance of Martha and the Vandellas' Dancing in the Street was entertaining and had Paula dancing, however when Nakia sang a slow song, the imperfections in her voice were apparent. Once the judges turned her down, Nakia was deflated and came out of the room a complete 180 degrees of her previous self.

Billed by Ryan as this year's "Man or Woman?" contestant, William had an androgynous haircut and enough baby fat to conceal his gender.

It didn't help that William chose to sing Selena's Dreaming of You, and just as high.

Simon interrupted William's song and Randy started cracking up. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see more of the judges' comments.

Initially, we didn't hear Contestant #8527 sing or even talk.

The astronaut walked into the room and Carol Bayer Sager immediately reacted with, "Oh, come on."

Simon continued the thought with, "Oh, for God's sake."

To be fair, the Silent Astronaut did not remain silent. During the All Night Long montage, we hear him sing the title lyrics.

Phillip sang as loudly as he possibly could.

He sang as high as he possibly could.

He sang as off-pitch as a human possibly could.

Simon critiqued him by saying, "That comes under the category of 'Annoying.'"

Ian is a self-proclaimed "superstar," dancer, and singer who previously auditioned on So You Think You Can Dance, and American Idol was his next target.

Rather than a superstar, Ian came off more as an obnoxious New Yorker with huge lips than anything else.

After rattling off Laura Branigan's Gloria, the judges stopped him. Simon called his performance "rubbish," and Ian demanded to see Simon's working visa. At this point, Simon was already bored with Ian's shtick, and security corralled him out the door.

Post audition, Ian ranted for quite some time, including his observation that "Hollywood is New Jersey with celebrities."

Since Robert claims to sound just like Elvis, it seemed natural that he chose Burning Love as his song.

Did Robert make it to Hollywood? Let's just say that if Elvis really is dead, he's be turning in his grave.

In his post-audition time with Ryan, he didn't say anything. He simply tore off his contestant number and crumpled it up.

Sean came to American Idol dressed as Fidel Castro, complete with a (natural) long beard. He clearly didn't see the sign that said "Long haired freaky people need not apply."

Sean confessed, "Everybody says i look like either Osama bin Laden or Jesus or Castro or just "Homeless Bum," but I really think all of us are kind of homeless. When it comes down to it, all of us are really poor inside."

Pre-audition, you'd never have thought he could sing, but not only did he belt out Johnny Cash's God's Gonna Cut You Down, he even made it through to Hollywood. We'll have to see how far Sean gets in the next round as he battles this non-pop image issue.