Season 5, Episode 7

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Kenneth Maccarone

Contestant #12709

Kenneth's song was Believe by Cher. Not only did he sing Believe, but he did a Cher impersonation.

As soon as named his song and started singing, Simon dropped his head, Paula started giggling, and Randy started chuckling.

After singing, Kenneth mentioned that he could do Judy Garland as well. Simon, as with any men singing in a woman's voice, suggested the female impersonation profession, to which Kenneth said in disgust, "Absolutely not." Apparently, Kenneth doesn't mind singing like Cher in front of millions of people, but he refuses to cross-dress. Simon told him that he had two choices: "Sound like a female, look like a man or sound like a female and dress like a female."

Kenneth argued that Cher didn't have a female voice. "Well, Simon, if we're going based on what people do and what people say, then why aren't you on the backside of a pair of jeans?" Paula, hiding behind her hands, gave a subtle thumbs-up, and Randy clapped and said "Woah! Very good!"

The judges voted and Simon happily declared, "Cher, you are not going to Hollywood."

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Michael Sandecki

Seacrest refers to Michael as "Boston's most annoying man." Michael had also gone out of his way to try and look like the pre-American Idol Clay Aiken.

For his audition, Michael horribly belts out "In the Still of the Night." Simon noted that, obviously, Michael was going for the Clay Aiken look but didn't sound like him, and told him that "You got the bad side of the bargain here."

After getting two No's from the judges, Michael said, "Actually, I really can sing, it's just I'm nervous as hell, and I gotta pee." Simon set him a challenge to go pee, come back, and sing again. Set to the Chariots of Fire music, we get to see slow-motion footage of Michael running to the bathroom, flushing the urinal, drying his hands, and running back into the audition room. Simon cut him off before he could say anything and instructed him to just start singing. Six words later, Simon told him that it made him worse.

Poor Laurence Soares is stuck next to the obnoxious freak in line, and suggests that he turn it down just a little tad. Michael replies, "I don't have a down button. It just goes even more hyper." Laurence tells the camera, "If I have to stand next to him the whole time, I'm gonna go insane."

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Laurence Soares

Contestant #11568

Laurence sang C+C Music Factory's Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now), including some pseudo-beatboxing as well. As intended (I assume), Laurence had Paula and Randy cracking up.

Later in the episode, we see a poor pre-audition Laurence stuck in line with Clay Aiken-lookalike Michael Sandecki.

Read Idle Idol's interview with Larry Soares and check out CrazLarry's MySpace page.

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Curt Doble (GWAR)

Contestant #11464

The two-member team that auditioned both wore #11464. They had made their own GWAR outfits from duct tape.

The lead GWAR singer is shown singing the mandatory Joy to the World (Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog). He sings "And he always has some mighty fine wine," accompanied by a "Yeah!" from the background GWAR singer. Later, we see him sing the line "Joy to the world!" with a fist in the air, followed by "Line!?".

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Irada Jaforda

Contestant #12117

Irada entered the audition with a long, buttoned sweater and a bright red flower in her hair. As she started to "sing" Unbreak My Heart, she unbuttoned the sweater so it was fully open in the front. Yes, she had another shirt on underneath.

Fully unimpressed, Randy had to find out what else she was capable of. Irada started singing Chain of Fools as she removed the sweater and let it drop to the floor. She then attempted to remove the flower and let her hair down, but the flower got stuck, and she was forced to let the flower hang there, upside down, in her hair. She also gave a couple half-gyrations.

Irada then transitioned into several different songs, ending with How Do I Live Without You? Simon finally stopped her and told her that everything about the audition was horriffic. Irada snatched up her sweater and other items and rushed out without a word.

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James Yokley Jr.

Contestant #10315

James came out and rapped for a short while. Unimpressed, the judges asked him to sing something.

James then proceeded to butcher Lean on Me. Simon responded, "That's why he rapped."

James may have been rapping for 10 years, but he won't be doing it in Hollywood on American Idol.

James is later spotted in the Joy to the World (Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog) montage, where he switches from the proper chorus to the Christmas song "Joy to the World."

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Alison Laverdiere

Contestant #14090

Alison sang Everybody's Working for the Weekend in an operatic fashion.

The highlight of the audition was Alison pointing at the judges and clearly articulating the line "You want a piece of my heart?"

Simon said that "there is a real lack of understanding here today."

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