Deborah Dawn's style was pure rock, and it looked like she had rocked a bit too hard in her (at least) 27 years on this earth. I'm a poor judge of age, but Deborah Dawn looked much older than 27. To me, she looked more like 35 minimum. Like I said, I could have been wrong.

Her extremely long and frizzy hair may have been what made her look older. She said, "People recognize me by my hair. 'Hey! . . . Lady Big Hair!'" Yeah, that's the name that'll get you into American Idol — if it were the 80s.

Now that I think about it, Deborah Dawn really looked and acted just like a Molly Shannon character . . . a lot like a Molly Shannon character, right down to the crazy eyes. Simon said that she looked like "somebody's mother who for a day has been told to look like Cher for some ghastly fancy dress party and does a song. That's how the whole thing came over." Simon then said that it was like he needed to hear her with his eyes closed because her image was so off-putting. Paula reminded Simon that this is what he said about Clay Aiken, but Simon denied it.

Marcus (who refers to himself once as "Kid Chaos") is a self-proclaimed AT, "All Terrain Entertainer: singer, rapper, songwriter, dancer, comedian, actor."

Marcus started out by singing This Little Light of Mine in falsetto. Simon tried to stop him at the end of the song, but Paula insisted on seeing all of the All Terrain Entertainer.

In order to showcase all of his talents, Marcus moved on to dancing, followed by some beatboxing.

One would hope that, being an All Terrain Entertainer, that Marcus would have been good with at least one of the skills, but he really wasn't. Marcus' only skill seemed to be auctioneer-like fast-talking.

Wolfie described himself as "sound a little bit like Clay, but maybe a little bit different than Clay, but I think my voice range is around Clay Aiken's. I'm definitely going to Hollywood today." Matthew even chose to sing Aiken's The Measure of a Man.

The differences quickly became apparent when he started singing in a shakey, quivering voice. The similarities never made themselves apparent. The producers even played Matthew and Clay side-by-side as an easy comparison.

Matthew is called "Wolfie" because — why else? — he likes wolves so much.

John recently took leave from the military after nine years. Before auditioning for American Idol, he took vocal lessons for only six weeks, and you'd never know it — unless you heard him sing.

John started by singing semi-normally, but he then quickly turned around, put some sunglasses on, and started beatboxing and singing a remix of the same song. Needless to say, it didn't go over well.

Simon was "puzzled that someone from the Air Force comes in and does quite a strange routine, and after that bizarre element, you stood there with a very serious look on your face, as if, that's just normal."

Perhaps John could get some musical guidance from the composer of the same name.

Eric's singing was unpalatable, bland, and monotone, but it was nothing compared with his hairstyle. I'm not sure what exactly was going on there. A bit too much gel, a sleepless, showerless day, or just a bad hair year?

Eric insisted on singing with his eyes closed the entire time, but I wished I could have listened with my ears closed. He really sounded like a Bob Dylan on drugs. Oh, wait a minute . . . I guess maybe he sounded like a sober Bob Dylan.

Shalicia "recently discovered" her special talent, which is usually a clue that you're about to be treated to some awful singing. Shalicia was no exception to this rule. Unfortunately, America never discovered her special talent.

Shalicia followed up her awful, passionate, closed-eye singing with some awful slam poetry.

Simon also noted that her choreography was hideous, to which Shalicia (unknowingly) thanked him.

After Shalicia sang for the judges and received three resounding "No" responses, Shalicia admitted that she had quit her job to be on American Idol. Simon responded that "It wasn't the best career move." Simon then offered to call her boss Ginny to get her old job back. Sure enough, Simon stuck to his word, had Shalicia call her boss, and he explained that she had no hopes of going to Hollywood. Shalicia's boss agreed to take her back. I'm guessing that her old job doesn't involve karaoke.