Crystal was, I think, going for the Britney Spears look, but with a "make-up tan," she wasn't going to cut it. Combine that with an almost infinite supply of ditziness and some poor singing "talent," and you've got yourself an interesting (but unsuccessful) audition.

Simon immediately attacked by asking about the suntan. Here's how the conversation went:

Crystal: You need me to explain anything?
Simon: Yes, the tan.
Crystal: OK, um . . . my name is Crystal. Umm . . . I just –
Simon: No, I want to hear about your suntan.
Crystal: OK. I'm singing "And I'm Telling You" by Jennifer Holliday.
Simon: No, no, no. I want to hear about your suntan.
Crystal: Oh, my suntan?
Simon: Yeah, yeah.
Crystal: I go tanning.
Simon: (sarcastically) Noooo!
Crystal: But I don't think that's of main importance here.
Simon: No, but it is quite prominent.
Crystal: Oh, it is?

They called in Crystal's mother to see what she thought, and before entering, Paula whispered, "She has the same eye makeup on." Post-audition, Crystal insisted that "American Idol is not the next round," but that the next round would instead be when she became a huge star on her own.

There was also the Lady Marmalade montage. The clips were of multiple contestants singing the song. Crystal initially appeared for just one second, screaming, but the last 45 seconds of the clip was dedicated to her trying to sing "More, more, more." We also got to see a freak dressed up as a little girl in that clip.

You can also view Crystal's MySpace profile.

One word: Spaz.

Crazy Dave seemed to believe that if he had enough energy and overwhelming enthusiasm that this would cancel out the fact that he couldn't sing. He was wrong . . . or was he?

As with several previous poor performers, Randy and Simon split the vote, forcing Paula to be the one who let the poor performer down. This time, however, she had apparently had enough. Paula said, "For my own reasons . . . YES."

Crazy Dave made it through. Why is he referred to as "Crazy Dave?" It might be that he performed barefoot and claims that animals started talking to him when he was 16.

Click here for more articles about Crazy Dave Hoover.

Blake is from New York, so he thought it only natural to dress as the Statue of Liberty.

From what I can tell, his song was New York, New York, but it was hard to tell, since Simon cut him off quickly: Blake only got to sing "Start spreadi–"

Hey, I guess everyone gets their fifteenth-of-a-second of fame.

Blake Boshnack appeared again in Season 7.

Stuart dressed in traditional Assyrian garb, which included an unfortunate hat with a long plume comng out from the top.

The fact that his song was also Assyrian didn't help his case much, either, and he was quickly eliminated.

Jessica's song included two words that needed to be bleeped out, and she was quickly denied. Her post-audition rant would have made a sailor blush. Time to go buy some soap to wash her mouth out.

Yuliya is a Ukranian looking to obtain a 3-year performing visa.

Yuliya opted to sing Bohemian Rhapsody, but her performance seemed more like a striptease, prompting Paula to join in and take her jacket off.

Brandon sang — what else? — I Shot the Sheriff. At least, he tried.

Before the judges let Brandon down, they confirmed that he did not have any authority in Chicago

Update: This would not be the last we would see of Brandon. He returned in American Idol 6 as Uncle Sam.

Derek prepared for his audition by telling the camera all about his confidence, yet his huge sweat spots on his shirt might have betrayed that notion.

Derek claimed to be able to sing in three pitches: Low, Mid, and Semi-High. This alone tells you how well Derek could sing.

After being rejected, he pleaded with the judges to give him an hour and allow him to come back for another shot.

Ryan Seacrest took Dupree out on the street to sing for random passersby. One couple started laughing as he sung, but that apparently was no hint to Derek that he might not make the cut.

Simon asked Amanda what she did for a living. Full of energy and effervescence, Amanda happily told the judges that she sold furniture, prompting Simon to ask for "something interesting" about her life.

The one thing that was uninteresting? Her singing.