Season 5

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Julian Riano

Contestant #53511

Julian performed a full split for the judges while wearing boots. Apparently, this is supposed to make up for mediocre singing ability when auditioning for American Idol.

After failing to sing well enough to advance, Julian gave his parting words: "Keep following your dreams. Always." He then rode down the escalator, singing On the Road Again.

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Ashley Jackson

Contestant #53504

Ashley is a fit model. Fit models work for manufacturers and fashion houses as a real person with real contours who must be of "average" size and maintain certain measurements.

Ashley sang for a bit, but failed to impress Paula. Paula stopped her by saying "Thank you very much," and her reply was "Oh."

It was then mentioned that she could sing with her mouth closed. She asked Paula if she should sing that way, and Paula told her that it wasn't going that well thus far in the audition. Nonetheless, she went ahead and sang The Star-Spangled Banner in this manner.

Somehow, Randy gave her a "Yes" vote. Paula refrained from voting and asked Simon what he thought. Simon gave a "Yes," so Ashley is Hollywood-bound.

I'm guessing that Paula wanted to say "No," based on the footage shown.

This just goes to show you that models have it easier than the rest of us, and that American Idol cares about the viewership numbers. Remember — even though they say they want something different, they just want attractive women.

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Ronnie "R.J." Norman

Contestant #53550

Pre-audition, R.J. said, "My friends call me R.J. Actually, everyone calls me R.J. . . . Everyone's my friend."

Ryan's narration discussed R.J. being a ladies' man, and we got to see several shots of him flirting with various women.

Allison Schoening asked him if he liked baseball. After R.J. told her that he didn't like baseball because it was boring, he informed her that she just made it awkward. Yikes. Apparently that red flag didn't scare Allison away, as she happily hugged him when he left with a golden ticket.

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Kevin Mitchell

Contestant #55798

Kevin bore a strong resemblance to Randy Jackson.

Before Kevin sang, Simon told him, "We're looking for one big difference [from Randy]: Do you have talent?"

Despite Kevin's poor vocal abilities, Randy made a point to tell him repeatedly that he was very handsome.

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Danielle Zamora

Contestant #54252

Danielle kept it simple by singing an old classic, Amazing Grace.

With her rendition, however, it might have been better titled Amazingly Tone-Deaf.

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Jason Horn

Contestant #52605

Jason's job is as an embalmer, so his song choice seemed obvious. He sang Josh Grobin's You Raise Me Up.

Jason sang well enough to make it through to Hollywood.

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Nick Muntean and the Zombies

Zombies attacked American Idol 5's Austin auditions.

We see a group of zombies wandering around outside near the lines, but why were they there? To tell us that "Television rots your braaaaaaains!"

Where did they come from? Nick Muntean, a University of Texas at Austin graduate student organized the group via craigslist in order to attract attention to the fact that television melts your brains.

The American Idol staff apparently caught wind of the plan and were waiting for the zombies. The staff was right there to happily film them.

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Ryan Hart

Contestant #74130

Ryan gets off to an odd start by answering Paula's "What's your name?" question with "I'm Ryan, what's yours?" During the interview section of the audition, Paula told him, "You just cursed. You you're not allowed to do that, it's a family show," but Ryan replied with "Oh, well I'm not a family guy."

Ryan sang Silverstein's Smashed into Pieces which includes some death-metal-like screeching along with some so-so alternative crooning in the middle. After Ryan left, Randy just had to try the screeching for himself. People posting over at alternative/independent entertainment site HYAMP.ORG seemed quite annoyed that the "poser" claimed to be "too hardcore" for the judges. Let's hope they don't get a hold of Ryan's MySpace profile. The band Silverstein posted on their site that Ryan is invited out to any one of their shows at any time. Oh, and if you want to hear the original version of the song (screeching included), listen to the sound clip from Disc 2 of the 2005 Warped Tour Compilation.

Watch the Video:

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Erica Davis and Bobbie May Davis

Contestants #78409 & #78408

Erica sang briefly for the judges. It was fine, but certainly not American Idol quality. Clearly, she only made it to the televised auditions because her sister is Bobbie May. Bobbie May is a psychic who was made popular on a previous season's audition episode.

Post-audition, the psychic claimed that she did have predictions about the outcome of American Idol 5, but she preferred to keep them to herself.

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CSI: Criminal Singers Investigated

If you think the legal issues ended with the Brittenum twins, think again. This episode also included a segment of several numbered-but-unnamed contestants who had been brought up on various humorous charges. Watch for yourself below, but here’s the full list first:

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Haggai Yedidya

Contestant #72892

Haggai is becoming an American, and he wore an American flag shirt for his audition. He claimed that he was going to make the judges excited with his singing. He ensured the judges that he would sing in tune because he had a key chain to help him with his pitch. Simon noted that it sounded a little low, so Haggai asked him if he had any batteries.

After Haggai desecrated God Bless the USA, the judges turned him down. It probably didn’t help that when he sang "the men who died," it sounded like he was gargling.

Haggai told the judges that, with a vocal coach and a couple months, one can become a good singer, and after a year, one can become a great singer if they have perfect pitch, like he does. If Haggai has perfect pitch, then apparently the rest of the world doesn’t.

Post-audition, Haggai explained that he had tried to grab the judges’ attention. He said that the "right judge" (Randy) was most impressed because he maintained eye contact, Paula was looking at his dancing and his body, and Simon was reading a book.

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