Magic Cyclops (real name: Scott Fuller) is a professional air guitarist of an unknown age. On audition day he was dressed in an American flag shirt with a bandanna on his head labeled "MAGIC". When outside, he is also seen wearing a brightly colored traditional poncho. Magic Cyclops is formerly a Davenport, IA resident until he left town due to riverboat gambling debts. Magic Cyclops claims to own 11,000 air guitars (though we only see a small selection on-air, probably due to the cost of transporting them all). He claims that he has a British accent because his family was so poor that they could only afford a television that got PBS and thus he grew up watching BBC programming on PBS.

As Magic Cyclops entered the audition room he shouted, "Bring in the Kraken!" and the judges quickly corrected him. He sang Neil Diamond's Cracklin' Rosie (though Magic Cyclops calls it "Cracklin' Rose"). Not surprisingly, Magic Cyclops sang the song without any discernible talent but Jennifer asked to hear more. He then sang Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett (pronounced by Magic Cyclops as "James Buffet") with the same level of skill.

Randy didn't seem to want to play along and headed toward the bathroom, but Magic Cyclops wanted to show off his grand finale: He dropped to one knee while at the same time confetti shot upwards from his backside. Steven asked, "Was that your a**?!?" and Magic Cyclops confirmed that it was.

Randy asked Magic Cyclops to take his glasses off but he claimed that the sunglasses were prescription and that he also had no eyes (which is a strange claim for someone named 'Magic Cyclops' if you think about it). Randy then left the room, and soon after Jennifer left the area via the opposite direction. Steven and Magic Cyclops walked away from the audition area together.

Outside, Magic Cyclops claims to have put Steven Tyler where he is today since he owns several Aerosmith CDs. As he departed, Magic Cyclops requested that the ending theme to The Incredible Hulk be played. Sure enough, Joe Harnell's The Lonely Man started playing as Magic Cyclops slowly dragged his bag down the street, holding out a thumb to passersby.

Angie respects Lady Gaga's performance style and also likes to make everything she does a performance.

In front of the judges, Angie sang When You Got It, Flaunt It from The Producers. During the performance Angie strutted around the stage and then loudly dropped down hard onto her knees, prompting Randy to react with, "Ow!". Angie then squirmed around the stage a bit, singing and out of breath from the physical performance. Angie apologized that she didn't get down more because her tight dress was too restricting.

Jennifer was impressed by the performance but Randy is turned off by showtunes because they tend to bring out that type of vibratto that he doesn't like. Angie offered to sing something that wasn't a showtune but Randy said he was good. Jennifer pushed for her to sing something else so Angie sang the Linda Ronstadt version of Blue Bayou. Randy admitted that the song changed his mind and Angie was passed on to Hollywood.

Alanna shared that she works at a restaurant known for serving the novelty food Rocky Mountain Oysters (fried bull calf testes). She mentioned that the restaurant offers bull, buffalo, and turkey varieties of the dish to which Steven asked, "Turkeys have b***s???" Jolene explained that turkey's testes were internal and therefore not visible.

Alanna wailed Dolly Parton's Jolene while the television audience heard cows mooing overtop her performance. Steven told her that her melody was all over the place and the judges sent her away without a ticket.

Tealana decided to audition for American Idol to get out from under the shadow of her twin sister Stevie L., who is going to school for "performance". The Color Guard Coach noted that she and her sister had different personalities. She introduced herself to the judges as "Tealana Ron", but it was unclear if that was her middle name, a performance name, or something else. She also told Randy that he could call her "Dawg".

While Tealana was trying her best to sing Bring Me Some Water by Melissa Etheridge, Jennifer leaned over to Steven and whispered, "If you ask her for another song, I'm gonna kill you." Steven suggested she record her voice and listen to it. They told her that she was cute with a great personality but the voice just wasn't strong enough for American Idol.

Jenni describes herself as "overly energetic, to the point where people have to tell me to stop." This point is proven as we see her mauling some guy's head with her hands and then walking backwards while making the obnoxious "BEEP-BEEP-BEEP" construction vehicle noise.

The 24-year-old music teacher from Sterling, VA mentions that her least favorite part of the job is teaching the recorder because "30 recorders in one room with beginning recorder players makes me want to vomit."

Jenni admitted that she has three celebrities on her "celebrity pass list" (for kissing):

1. Steven Tyler
2. Lady Gaga
3. Adam Levine

So clearly the focus was to take the Idol auditions as a great excuse to kiss Steven. As soon as she got in the audition room, Jenni turned on the flirtatious act and explained her arrangement to the judges. Steven told her that she better sing well.

For her audition Jenni sang Pat Benetar's Heartbreaker and did well enough to get a unanimous vote through to Hollywood. She walked over to Steven, who gave her a full-on kiss on the lips. She reacted by screaming with glee and jumping up and down. It's hard to say whether she was more excited about Hollywood or Steven's lips.

Samantha came to audition for American Idol and she brought along her sister Patricia, a.k.a. Patty the Pittsburgh Planker. The sisters agreed that Samantha sang better when Patty was planking.

Ryan got down on the floor to plank but put his arms up in the air in front of him as well, Superman style instead of planking style (arms at the side).

Before Samantha sang Faith Hill's Like We Never Loved At All, Patty got down on the stage to plank. Apparently unaware of the rules of planking, Steven asked her how long she could hold that position for. Of course, he received no response from Patty. She held the proper form for the entire singing portion of the audition but did collapse for the judges once Samantha finished singing.

The judges enjoyed Samantha's voice enough to pass her on to Hollywood. We didn't hear the judges discussing Patricia's fate, however when they emerged they both held golden tickets, so it looks like Samantha will have her lucky plank with her in Hollywood!

American Idol kicked off in Pittsburgh by showing us Heejun Han's complete boredom while he was sitting in the waiting room outside the auditioning area. When asked in the pre-audition interview why he was there, he simply replied, "I don't know." When asked if he had what it took to be the next American Idol, he also answered, "I don't know," and revealed that he felt he was good until he heard some of the other auditioning talent.

Heejun (pronounced hee-joon) then interviewed with Ryan Seacrest and told Ryan that his face was as small as a fist, especially compared to his own face. Ryan said that their faces seemed to be of similar size and moved in to show how different their face sizes were or weren't, but Heejun backed away and said, "No, it's just — comparison's too much."

In the audition room, Heejun said the entire experience was unreal and likened the judges to being at a wax museum. Randy tried to turn that comment into a compliment about them being supermodels but Heejun only conceded that Jennifer was of supermodel quality. He tried to take the comment back and simultaneously tried to expelled some nervous energy by raising his arms and flapping his hands. Jennifer and Randy mimicked him and told him he couldn't take it back.

Outside the room, Ryan asked his friends and family about how he sang and discovered that they hadn't heard him sing before. (This is often a clue that the auditioner has no singing experience and is about to bomb.)

Heejun started singing Michael Bolton's How Am I Supposed to Live Without You and Steven reared his head back, startled — not because Heejun's act was a joke, but because he had what Jennifer would call "a beautiful voice". Needless to say, he was unanimously passed through to Hollywood.

Buffalo native Erica is obsessed with Steven Tyler. Like…really obsessed.

Once she got into the audition room, Erica said that Steven was her future ex-husband. Randy suggested that Steven give her a hug and Erica promised to keep her hands at her sides the entire time. Once Steven gave her a nice hug, Erica reached around and gave Steven a few firm squeezes right on his butt.

Erica sang Joss Stone's Super Duper Love but not well enough for a singing career…or singing in the shower, for that matter. Once she finished, Steven commented, "The best note you hit was when you grabbed my ###, you know that…'cause that was 'Whoo-ee!'" When it came time for Randy to give his opinion, Jennifer commented that he was jealous about the attention Steven got, so Erica came to him and, of course, gave him a nice firm squeeze on the butt too.

Mawuena Kodjo is from West Africa (though his official card lists Nashville, TN as his residence) and speaks English with a distinctive African accent. He watched Idol Season 10 and said that Scotty McCreery should win…and he did. So right there is basically all the credentials you need to win American Idol, right?

As Mawuena sang Rascal Flatts' I Won't Let Go, his accent got heavier and any sense of tone or pitch left the room. Steven made another basketball reference and Randy was almost left speechless, but eventually was able to tell Mawuena that he was terrible.

Mawuena told the judges that he could prove them wrong, so Randy challenged him to find some people to argue with Randy. Ryan took Mawuena out on the street to sing and find some people who would argue with Randy about him being terrible and finally found some young girls (probably around 7 years old) and an older man in a plaid shirt who were willing to take up the cause. They returned and told the judges but Randy wouldn't hear it and stood his ground.

Don't worry — Mawuena still wasn't dejected. He left determined to become the world's first African country music superstar. I'm not sure if he's aware that he has to go up against other African country music superstars such as Gazi 'Dusty' Simelane or even these three random people singing Lady Antebellum's Need You Now who, even though they are amateurs, may still edge our Mawuena. Sorry!

Shaun dressed as a host for his audition and he had the skills to back that look up, or at least an impersonation of the skills to back that look up. People tell Shaun that he looks a lot like Ryan Seacrest…and when he's trying, he can sound a lot like Ryan, too. Shaun did some impressive impersonations of Ryan's common lines such as "THIS…is American Idol", "I'm Ryan Seacrest", and "The results are in — dim the lights".

Shaun sang Oh Girl by the Chi-Lites and while they liked the personality he brought to the stage, they didn't care for the singing.

Jessica has been singing since she was ten and had a very positive attitude coming into the audition room. At 19, she had sang the national anthem and participated in talent shows for many years.

For her audition, Jessica sang Charice's In This Song. Unfortunately, she shouted out the words as loudly as she could, almost in a Muppet-like manner.

When Jessica finished her song, Randy gave her a slightly disgusted look, Jennifer shook her head, and Steven was in a world of his own, possibly humming the actual tune to himself. Finally, Randy broke the silence with one word: "Awful." Steven came up with a confusing basketball analogy about Jessica having the ball and going in to shoot but not making the basket…?

After getting her official "No" vote from the judges, Jessica kept a positive attitude and happily said, "I'll see you in Texas, then," before walking out. Once she was gone the judges realized what she had said and wondered if they could keep her from wasting her time at yet another Season 11 audition. Outside the audition room, Jessica said, "You guys are gonna see me in Texas, so get ready. I'm coming back!"

Seventeen-year-old David Leathers, Jr. is a self-proclaimed ladies man. In fact, he says his nickname is "Mr. Steal Your Girl". We see David talking to an older girl (Fatia) and he hands his phone over to her so she can punch in her phone number in his contacts list.

David also revealed that in 2009 he was in a local competition with Scotty McCreery and claims to have won. Seacrest tries to clarify whether he beat Scotty or not and David has a big grin and replies with a vague, "You could say that," leading us to wonder if he's lying about winning and whether he has any singing talent at all.

In his audition David sang Remember the Rain? by Century 21. The judges enjoy his singing and he reminds them so much of a young Michael Jackson that they ask him to sing a Jackson song. David obliges by singing Never Can Say Goodbye.

The judges passed David on to Hollywood by simultaneously yelling "YES!"

Want to see more of David Leathers, Jr.? Well, you won't have to wait for the Hollywood episode — you can check out David's YouTube channel for seven videos!

The day they met, Rob asked Chelsee onto the stage to sing with him. From there, they continued their career together and moved in together, but since then the couple has split. Rob mentioned that they had continued to live together after they had broke up. Ryan asked Chelsee if she dated people while the two were still living together and she admitted she had. Ryan's response was to give Rob a hug and tell Chelsee: "That's so uncool!" Ryan later asked them, "Are you friends?" to which Rob replied, "Uhh, at this point, not really but it'll . . . in time it'll work out."

After they went into the audition room, Ryan asked Chelsee's current boyfriend, Josh McClintock, if he was the reason for the breakup. Josh clarified that he didn't cause the breakup and that he didn't know Rob before and didn't really know him now.

In the audition room, Jennifer quickly jumped on the topic, calling herself a hopeless romantic and trying to find out if there was any way they might get back together. She even tried to enlist Steven's help. Together, the pair sang The Bee Gees' To Love Somebody and the judges couldn't stand how well they sang that romantic song together. Steven started talking about how the deepest passion comes from friction and that he could see how in love they were.

The two then sang separately for their own auditions: Rob sang Marvin Gaye's What's Going On and Chelsee came up and sang Brandi Carlile's The Story. The judges commented that they sang beautifully both separately and together. They were both passed through to Hollywood. After they left, Jennifer whispered that they were going to get back together.

The two came out and Chelsee was greeted by her throng of relatives (and boyfriend) while Rob had Ryan's hand to shake. After a moment, Ryan goaded Josh into congratulating his girlfriend's ex on his success as well. Yes, I can imagine how thrilled he was to know that his GF was heading to Hollywood with her ex without him.

Once the group left, Ryan heaved a sigh of relief and sent the show to break.

From the moment we first heard Christine's voice on her pre-audition interview, it was clear that we would probably be in for a treat on this audition. One way to describe it to those who haven't heard is to imagine a cross between Marilyn Monroe and Mickey Mouse.

Christine started "singing" as soon as she entered the audition room . . . except she wasn't singing words. Instead, she started making sounds that were apparently supposed to sound like the "So, oh oh oh oh" portions from the middle of Mariah Carey's Obsessed. After a bit, she switched to a high-pitched, shrill sounds.

After that introduction, Christine started talking, prompting Randy to ask her if she did cartoon voice overs. She said she didn't know (?) and Jennifer suggested that she should do that.

Christine sang Lee Ann Womack's I Hope You Dance (though she said "I Hope You Can Dance"). Steven started "I'm going to say 'No'." and Christine responded confusingly with, "Awesome!" Her response was more clear when she went out and told her mom, "I did my best and I got one 'Yes' and two 'No's." Ryan looked more perplexed than we have ever seen him on the show and asked, "You did? A 'Yes' to what?" Christine said, "He said I had a good voice for American Idol." Ryan could only respond with, "OK . . . I missed that scene."

Nashville's episode 4 kicked off with Randy saying to Darius, "So you can sing high notes, right?" Darius broke into a loud, sustained, high-pitched sing/scream that sounded more like an alarm than a note. We then saw Ryan standing on the sidewalk outside, looking around for the sound, along with a building collapsing from the sound.

We watched Randy and Jennifer's reactions and Steven's response of, "Wow" but we never saw a vote. Nonetheless, you have to assume that Darius didn't make it through to Hollywood.

Chris wore matching grey, sparkly pants and jacket set to the auditions. Oh, and did I mention that he also had a giant toothbrush? The need for a giant white, grey, black, and red toothbrush became apparent when he sang his song:

Oooooooooh, you better
get out the brush!
Get out the brush!
Everybody!

Randy suggested that he stick to singing in the car, and only then if the windows were up.

Upon leaving the audition room, Chris was seen throwing his hands up in disbelief that he wasn't passed through.

Kody told Jennifer that he would describe his voice as "a little bluesy" and similar to Frank Sinatra. This was not quite evident when he struck out with his attempt at Lady Gaga's Bad Romance.

Kody started shadowboxing (or possibly forward-fist-pumping?) while he sang the "Rah rah, ah ah ah" portion of the song.

Steven asked where Frank was in his performance and Kody conceded that perhaps it was a poor comparison. He asked
Randy, "Can I give you a hug," to which Randy promptly replied, "You better!" After a brief hug, Kody asked Randy if he could have a sip of Randy's Coke, but Randy refused.

Joe had been featured in several promotions before tonight's episode aired, where we see him enthusiastically saying, "I'm gonna kick this thing straight to the moon!"

Joe is going to UT (University of Toledo) for Communications and wants to go into radio. Since Ryan Seacrest has his own radio show, he decided to help Joe along. Joe gave a few call-outs including repeated IDs for K100 (pronounced by Joe as "Kaaaaaaaaay One-Hundred!"). Ryan mentioned the fact that if he was successful with both endeavors that he could be playing his own song on the radio. In the audition room, Joe did another sounder for the judges and they were taken aback, rendered almost speechless.

Outside the audition room, Joe's mom told Ryan that she never sings because she was tone deaf.

Joe proved that he took after his mom when he sang Billy Joel's The Longest Time in a pitchy, key-shifting style that had Steven howling like a dog after the performance. The judges unanimously agreed that Joe should abandon the singing dream and continue on with talking on the radio, but he cut them off with a portion of Fools Rush In. The judges then gave their final "No" votes and sent Joe on his way.

Tiffany started out by demonstrating for America "the typical Jersey hairdo." (Step one is that "you need your teaser brush with you at all times.")

As a Puerto Rican dance instructor, she admires Jennifer Lopez because she "made the mark that you don't have to be a stick figure to be gorgeous." Tiffany got choked up when she got in front of Jennifer, so Jennifer came out front and gave her a nice, long hug.

Tiffany chose to show off her Puerto Rican accents by wearing two strategically placed silver stars on her shirt.

Tiffany sang an original song that she made just for American Idol:

Oh, baby you've got to
You've got to put me through
the next round
Oh, baby you need me
Oh, baby they need me
America needs
America needs me
for higher ratings on TV

After that song, Steven had to ask, "What's with the jujubes on your ooh-ooh-bees?"

Tiffany sang a second song but closed her jacket again because the song was "more emotional". She sang Celine Dion's I'm Your Lady and received three Yes votes based on that performance, putting her through to Hollywood. Tiffany got down on her hands and knees and excitedly kicked her shoes on the ground, prompting Randy to clarify, "Yes to the singing!"

Achille is from the Ivory Coast and has the thick accent to prove it. After introducing herself, she began singing Madonna's Dress You Up. After some pained expressions from the judges, Steven stopped her, complimented her on her body language, and let her know that she didn't have the notes or melodies.

Achille let the judges know that she was working on her thick accent with her vocal coach but Jennifer assured her that it was really just about her singing and not about the accent.

Paul Marturano and The Hairy Aureolas sang their new song "The Next Amerrickan Idle," which has already been featured on FOX affiliates nationwide. They spent the morning of the audition singing and performing the song for various morning shows and radio stations. The song includes lyrics like "Your mommy told you that you could sing but she lied to you about everything . Give up on your dreams." Video of their visit to the auditions was recently released on YouTube:

Robbie Nipple of the Hairy Aureolas didn't think the footage would make it to the American Idol episode, but did continue on to say, “Maybe next year I’ll pants Seacrest.”

The Next Amerrickan Idle is available on Nimbit, CDbaby, and ITunes.

Lloyd "Big SuccSexy" Thomas is a big personality. We first see him doing the robot and repeating his nickname, a hybrid of "success" and "sexy". As he pulled out photographs of his daughters from his wallet, one of them fell on the floor as the camera zoomed in. Lloyd asked if they would cut that part out.

Lloyd is a dock worker at an airport and says that "the worst part about my job that I have is . . . probably the job that I have."

In the audition room, Lloyd sang Stevie Wonder's Overjoyed and did a great job — even Simon called it the best audition of the day. Neil Patrick Harris suggested that Lloyd work some of that personality into his performance.

Julie auditioned way back in Season 1 and got on the air for her horrible rendition of Labelle's Lady Marmalade. Julie returned again for season 9 with a sign reading "THIS IS MY YEAR 2009 Julie Kevelighan"

This time, Julie sang Alannah Myles' Black Velvet. To be honest, she sounded horrible but she sounded better than her previous audition.

When asked what he thought, Neil Patrick Harris said, "My first problem was the bottom line of your sign. The letters just get real small at the end. It seemed like you might have wanted to start over." When Simon gave his bad review and tried to start the voting, Julie broke into Somewhere over the Rainbow. They cut her off and voted No, so Julie started singing Let's Give Them Something to Talk About. At that point, security picked up her sign and showed her the way out.

Outside the audition room, Julie blamed her breathing and breath control on her poor audition. She even tried to fit a fourth song in during Ryan's interview. Maybe we'll see Julie again in 8 more years.

Jason said that he would be the next American Idol because he has talent . . . and he believes in magic.

Jason sang Divinyls' I Touch Myself to the judges and Kara pretended to sing along. By the end of the song, Jason was down on his knees on the stage. Simon said, "Jason, if you're comfortable down there, I'm cool with that." When Katy had to vote, she simply said, "I feel . . . dirty."

Outside the audition room, Jason gave Ryan his number and told him to call. Ryan said, "Jason, as much as you may believe what you read, here's the one you should be giving it to." Ryan then handed it to a large man who smarmily smiled at Jason and made a face at the camera.